I've never had a great memory, short term or long term. I've always wished it was better, but it's never really bothered me too much. However, now that I'm pregnant with baby number 2 and I'm realizing how much my memories really mean to me, and how sad I am to not remember things it has be come important to me to record things that I don't want to forget. It doesn't really bother me that although I watched every second of the previous years Super Bowl and World Series, I couldn't even tell you who played in them. It also doesn't bother me that I couldn't tell you what I did for my birthday last year. But, what does bother me, is not remembering little details of when I was pregnant with Ethan. Things like when hiccups started, or when Eric could start to feel Ethan kicking. There's been a lot of things that I wish I could remember from my first pregnancy, but as I sit here thinking, I can't even remember what I wish I remembered..... I know that sounds ridiculous, and they're things that aren't completely important anyway. However, there have been things recently that I don't remember very well that are more important. Ethan's always seemed to have GI issues, and through LOTS of trial and error, I was able to determine that he seems to have a fat intolerance. He can tolerate very small amounts of fat, but giving him ANY fatty foods (avocados, nuts, meats, whole milk etc) wreaks havoc on his GI tract, and his sleeping. On top of that, he's always been a bit difficult to feed. Between his low muscle tone, finickiness, swallowing issues, and other random problems feeding has always been a bit stressful around our house. He's started seeing a new geneticist, and she was asking me lots of questions about his feeding/GI history. I realized that there were a lot of things that I couldn't remember. I've always been praised for my ability to recall Ethan's medical history, but it's started getting long enough and complicated enough that I'm not remembering every detail like I used to. Instead of just being sad about it, I've decided to write about it, and make sure to start really preserving things.
Current things I want to remember?
Ethan: Ethan is 28 months old. It's hard to believe that I've been a mommy for almost 2 1/2 years. I feel like that doesn't sound that long, but at the same time I can hardly remember what it was like not being a mommy. Ethan is such a funny little guy. He is so full of joy, it literally explodes out of him, and has a positive effect on so many people. I never get tired of seeing random people smile at the little things he does at the grocery story, library, restaurants, etc. He's very social, and fearless. He frequently ends up crossing paths with people, whether it's trying to push their cart in the grocery store, grab their hand to show them the lights for fans on the ceiling, or mimic their cough. I'm always surprised that no one has ever had a negative reaction. I can cross a few dozen seemingly rude people on any given day, but when it comes to Ethan it seems like everyone has a moment to smile, chuckle, or use a little help pushing a grocery cart. Ethan still doesn't "talk" but he is trying a lot more. He can say "yayee" (daddy), "lk" (milk), and recently there's been several occasions where Eric or I have said something, and then it seems like Ethan will say one of the words back. We always snap our heads towards each other trying to figure out if he just said a new word, but then no matter how hard we try, he won't do it again. He has several signs, the ones he uses functionally are more, please, momma, and eat. He can also repeat baby, love, hat, ball, touchdown... I think there's a few more, but I can't remember off the top of my head. His talking is hysterical. In the last couple of weeks his babbling has increased dramatically. He uses lots of b's, g's, y's, e's, lk's, in all kinds of funny combinations. He finally sounds like he's actually trying to say something versus just random baby babble. I have to keep reminding myself, there were many days where it felt like he would never crawl/walk, and now he walks all over the place. Although today it feels like it'll never come, I know someday he'll say momma, I love you, I want, no, crap, the full gamete of things that we both love and hate for our children to say.
Zachali:
I'm currently 22 weeks pregnant with my 2nd boy. I've been feeling a lot more movement recently, which is both fun and relieving. It's a good reminder that he's doing what he's supposed to be doing, healthy and growing. We had initially decided on "Zachary Elijah Nelson". My Mom and Bob went to Israel recently, so upon their return my Mom thought we should name him "Elijah Zachary" instead. We could call him Eli for short, and have Ethan and Eli. I must admit, I like the idea. In the mean time we've started considering other names, but for now we've been lovingly calling him "Zachali". We might even just wait until he's born and decided on a name once we meet him. Thankfully, we don't have to decide now, so we won't. :)
Eric:
I'm thankful to God every day for my dear hubby. Of course we have our ups and downs, good times and bad. But, through it all, he's amazingly supportive, puts up with all my craziness, and always knows how to make me laugh. He works incredibly hard to keep our family afloat both financially and emotionally. He's an AMAZING father, with more patience than most. Our lives have been filled with so much stress an anxiety, and he's been a stable rock through it all.
I wish I could record all of the little things that come up that make me smile, that bring me peace, and bring me a sense of hope. But, since that's not possible, I'll write what I can when I can and hope that someday I can look back and be thankful that I took the time to do so. xoxo
